The 2023 Dragonfly Triathlon

I was slowly running up a flat road that had no shade. It was very hot, and I was very tired. Up ahead was a big guy, I was guessing 6'4" or 6'5" and 300 plus pounds. He was having trouble moving his huge body in the heat and humidity. 

As I gained on him, I noticed that he was dressed in a triathlon suit and over that he had on what looked like a skirt. I drew closer and saw it was a skirt. "What the heck?" I thought. He either

    a) was trying to start a fight

                b) was some kind of goofy stupid, or

c) he lost a bet

I pondered on what to say when I passed him. This guy could pick my up, tear me limb from limb, and throw my parts all the way back into the lake. But I'm a smart aleck, so when I drew even with him I said, "Nice dress."

He responded with, "Hey, keep your eyes up here," he said pointing to his eyes. Then he tapped me on the shoulder as I passed.

"It took a lot of nerve to say that to somebody as big as you," I yelled as I shuffled ahead.

"No nerve needed," he answered.

This day had begun at 3:30 a.m. My alarm was set for 4:45, but when I woke up and checked the time, I decided to go ahead and get up. I ate a bowl of cereal, got all of my Gatorade out, loaded the truck, and left. I headed to Sardis Lake, the lower lake at what they call Cypress Point. This is where the Dragonfly Triathlon is held each year. The date, August 26, 2023. The distances: a half-mile swim, an 18-mile bicycle race, and a four-mile run that takes place partly on a trail.

I drove slow and got there early. It turns out I needed the early. From where you park to packet pickup is a solid quarter of a mile or more. I walked in and showed the volunteer my QR code. Why does this irritate me? What was wrong with asking me my name and looking it up? Then she said, "Picture ID, please."

"Huh?"

"I need a picure ID."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No. USAT rules. We have to know you are who you say you are."

I gave her the look.

"Ride your bike back to your truck."

"My bike is in my truck."

To make a short story long, my momma wouldn't let me say anything else, so I took the walk back to the truck, fetched my ID, and walked back. I know what you're thinking. "Poor baby," right? Well, I was minimally trained for this, and I needed those steps to apply to the triathlon. And when I made it back to packet pickup, she didn't even look at the ID.

So with packet in hand, I got to walk to the truck again. See how this is adding up? At the truck, I aired up my bicycle tires, and tried to put my sticker numbers on my bike and helmet. I never can get the back off those sticky things, so I found a woman with finger nails to help me out. Then I took all my stuff to the transition area and set up.

Down on the beach, I took a warmup swim then climbed out onto the sand. I saw a one-armed lady get into the water. I wanted to watch her swim. Which side do you breath on if you only have one arm? I watched until she took a short swim. Once, she breathed out the front. Twice she breathed on her arm side. Now that was in my head like a bad song. How would I swim with one arm. I balance on my lead hand when I breath. Now I know what I am going to be doing when I go to the pool next.

The race started eight minutes and 28 seconds late. Why? On a day it's supposed to go over 100 degrees, why not? I guess to make it all more fun. I was number 136 which meant I was the 136th person in the water with the race officials sending us off once every five seconds. While I was wading in, a young guy came flying by running like a bear was after him and diving into the water. I guess he couldn't take it seeing the 67 written on the back of my left calf. They do that, you know, write your age on the back of your left calf in triathlons. This causes some young men a lot of angst. As soon as I took ten strokes in the swim, I was back in front of him. Not only that, but I was passing people three to five at a time during the one half mile swim. I ate it up, then exited the water and began the 100 or so yard run up the beach, across a field, and to the transition area. 

I put on my shoes and helmet, and headed out on my bicycle for the 18-mile cycle leg of the race. Remember all those people I passed in the swim? They passed my back on the bicycle, and it didn't take long. The sport of triathlon really does discriminate against swimmers. If you are a good runner, you can be average in the other two legs and still do pretty well. If you are a good cyclist, you can be average in the other two and do pretty well. If you are a good swimmer and only average at the other two, you will finish way in the back of the pack.

The bicycle course has one big hill. We ride south on Highway 35 until we turn off onto a county road and climb into the hills. When we made it to the foot of the hill, I hit the shift lever on the left side of my handle bars. That was to shift into my smallest chainring on the front. Nothing happened, so I hit it a few more times. There are two levers on that side, so I tried the other one. That shifted me into my large chainring on the front. The bicyle almost immediately stopped. I managed to get off before falling over. 

Off the bike, I worked the chain back to the middle chainring. But when I mounted the bike and tried to ride, I could not get the pedals to move far enough to clip in my right foot. So I had to walk the bike up the hill. While I did, the rest of the race contestants passed me. Lovely. I finally made it to the top and took off again. On top, we had about another mile to go before the turn around. On the way back, I saw that I was actually still ahead of a few people. A few. 

On the way back, I hit 28.2 going down the hill I had to walk up, and I didn't pedal a single stroke. Back on Highway 35, I began to push a little harder and was hitting 16 yo 17 miles per hour. I finally finished my bicycle leg just in time for it to get really hot. Praise God. At the transition area, I re-racked my bicyle, changed into my running shoes, and hit the hot road.

The road goes one mile before we cross Highway 35 and then enter a trail in the woods. On the way, we passed a house where three 60s something men had a sound system with the Rocky I music. Everytime a runner passed their porch, they qued up the Rocky music, clapped, and yelled. Not long past there is where I closed in on the big guy wearing the skirt. After passing him and crossing the highway, I entered the trail where the running got tough. 

Part of the trail on the Dragonfly Tri

When I finished the trail and was back to the highway, a woman contestant came up and asked if I has seen Big Dave. 

"Who?"

"You know, the big guy. He hasn't come in."

"The guy wearing the skirt." I told her I passed him before we got to the highway but never saw him on the trail. But the trail has a lolly pop section where it makes a loop and comes back to itself. If he was on the loop, I would have missed him. I thought, if that big dude falls out on the trail, it will take ten men to drag him out.

I was doing a lot of walking at this point. But when I drew near to the Rocky house, I thought, I cannot walk past that house. I started back shuffling, and as soon as I came in sight of the porch, the Rocky music came on loud, the men cheered wildly, and clapped like their favorite football team had just scored the go-ahead touchdown. There might have been some cold beer involved, but they really did give me a lift.

I crossed the finish line in a very slow 2:58:48. They gave me a finisher's medal, a bottle of cold water, and a wet towel. I took that stuff to the covered area where they had put out watermelon and pizza for us. I took a seat and drank that water like I had just been rescued from the Sahara.

 

I took a pic of Timmy Farrish from Louisville, 
but I did not get one of Big Dave.

I went back to the finish line just in time to see Big Dave finish. That's when I realized how badly I had undersetimated his size. He was at leas 6'7" or 6'8" and must have weighed close to 400. I was thinking his head weighed 45 pounds or more. And he was still wearing that skirt. Go figure.

When I got home, CC wanted to get close.

The Day Before

I had thought I'd get up early and hit the pool maybe even before daylight. It didn't happen. Not only that but when I did go in, I didn't do a whole lot. Even though the DragonFly is Saturday, I chose to swim because I have fallen off in the water of late. If I keep falling, I'm going to hurt myself. At the pool, I did a straight swim for 2,300 yards. That wasn't a bunch, but it was my third day of water work in a row. With Saturday's swim, I will have a good week at least swimming.

After the swim, I started getting things ready for Saturday. I put my bicycle in Plate City to save me a step or two in the morning. I packed a few clothes because you get really wet doing a tri. I also fixed up a food bag. Not really a food bag, but a protein shake, and apple, and some water. I put Gatorade in the frig, and my helmut and biking shoes in the truck. It wouldn't take me long to get ready in the morning.

Penny Mary and I went to Crystal for dinner. I had the blackened red fish, a baked potato, and a Greek salad. That is one of my favorite meals there. It's filling but not too heavy. If I want heavy, I go with the chicken liver, broiled. Big food and good. After that, we went home to rest. 

The Stink Eye

I tried to train a little bit Thursday. Maybe I can finish the tri Saturday if I put in a more work. After school, I went to the pool. See what I did there? I swam

  1,850 37:34

  300 for time 5:09 (1:43)

  300 back

  300 medium paddles

  2 X 25 no breath

  total: 2,800 yards = 2,559 meters

Notice anything? That practice is very similar to the one I did Wednesday. I simply added a 50 to the first four sets. I have a tendency to do that, to do a practice and then repeat it with slight adjustments. My paces were better Thursday than Wednesday. Yes, I really was more fit. I respond quickly to swim training. I wish the rest of it worked that way.

Back home, I waited until a little after 6:00 to go to the City. It was still 100 out there. I sweated a bucket, but I did 7:00 minutes on the bike erg, and 1.09 on the treadmill. Besides that, I did my push workout. 

Now it's Friday morning, and CC is giving me the stink eye. She wants me to move this computer so she can climb up onto my lap and hold me hostage for at least an hour. Mary and I have decided not to spend the night over there. That means I will be driving up in the morning. That also means I have time for the pool today and some time for more gym work. No cycling or running, however. It's too close for that.

I'm in Trouble

Just like last week, it was Wednesday before I made it to the pool. Once I got there, however, I did some semi-serious swimming. I swam

  1,800 37:39

  250 for time 4:20 (1:44)

  250 back

  250 medium paddles

  2 X 25 no breath

  total: 2,600 yards = 2,376 meters

That's not bad, but my lack of consistent swimming, like my lack of running mileage, is beginning to erode my fitness. 

Back home, I partook of one of my specialties: napping. It was 102 degrees outside with a heat index of 116. Thus, I was not in too big of a hurry to get out there, to the City. I needed to run. I needed to ride. I needed to lift. I had, however, neither time nor temperature for all of those needs. 

According to my phone, it was supposed to still be 100 degrees at 6:00. Not much of a cool down. I went out there a few minutes after 6:00 and did some bike ergging and treadmill running. No, I didn't get around to any weights. On the erg, I did three sets of 4:00 minutes each, and on the treadmill, I totalled 1.41 miles. That, my friend, is training for the Dragon Fly Triathlon to be held this Saturday. I know. I'm in trouble.

Tuesday

We are now in the second week of classes at MDCC. I'm still mispronouncing names, and still I have to look at the schedule on my door to know what's coming up. I was lying in bed this morning thinking, "Do I get to teach Comp II today?" I found the answer when I got here. Yes, today is Comp II day. The students are writing a paper on a short story, one that I wrote a few years back.

Yesterday was a tough one. I went to work in pain and left in pain. Not only that, but I didn't want coffee and drank none. I know you don't believe that, but it's true. My body didn't want it. Instead, I took my tumbler to class with ice and water, and I drank that all day.

After work, I went to bed. CC was worried about me. She just sat on my chest and stared at me. Anyway, I got to feeling better. Paul B was scheduled to come to Plate City at 5:45. He showed up and although I didn't feel like doing much, at least I wasn't hurting. We started slow. That always helps me get into it. After warming up with reverse hypers and the hip abductor/adductor machine and doing a warmup set of regular squats, we switched to the box squat.

By the time we got to the squats, I was feeling like working out. We did three sets of box squats before heading over the Plate City Extended for some machine squats. We did a couple of sets of those and then a set of toe raises. We finished our legs off with a set of step ups on some blocks that have been sitting there waiting on us for three years now.

So it was a good day after all. It started tough, but I get to feeling better and got some work in at Plate City. I need to do more, however. I am registered for the Dragon Fly Triathlon this Saturday. I have not ridden my bicycle since Bike, Blues[,] & Bayous. I have run very few miles. I think I'm going to be in for a tough day at the office. It will be real. It might be fun. I'm pretty sure it won't be real fun. 

8/14 - 8/20

It was another less-than-I-wanted-it-to-be week. But I was alive, working, working out, and happy. Praise God. And in case you are wondering why I did not post this yesterday, I couldn't make it happen. I slept until 7:00 a.m., went to work at 8:00, and had four straight classes. When I got home, I went to bed, still having some problems with that little issue that has plagued me for a few weeks now. At 5:30, the Barrentines, Paul and Beverly, picked us up and we went to Over 60s in Itta Bena where I out-ate Paul and Junior Barrentine. I beat them like they was red headed step children.

Monday I did not swim or run. I did, however, make it to the world famous Plate City Gym where I performed some push movements that included bench presses, overhead presses, chest flys, and seated dips.

Tuesday was pretty much the same: no swimming and no running. But once more, I went to Plate City and hung out with Pee Wee and did some pulling. 

I made it to the water Wednesday. I swam 2,000 yards. Then Paul B and I met at the City where we worked legs like we didn't need to walk the next day. We're bad like that.

Thursday was another bust. I was in pain and went to bed after work. I got well enough for Mary Hodge and me to meet Junior and Frances at Hilltop. We had a nice meal and some nice fellowship.

I did my first and only run of the week Friday, going 1.77 on the treadmill. Also, I swam 2,450 yards, and lifted some weights. Hey, that's not bad right there. I don't care who you are.

And you know what normally happens on Saturday. Paul B, Pee Wee, and me meet at the City for leg work and strongman training. We did the husafell stone and some frame deadlifts at Pee Wee Field. It was real. It was fun. But is wasn't real fun. It was too hot to be real fun. Later that afternoon, I lifted again doing upper back and rear deltoids. You can't neglect those rear deltoids. "Rear deltoids make a man," said a woman once. Or did I dream that?

For the week, I

  ran 1.77 miles

  swam 4,067 meters, and

  lifted weights six times

Will I ever get it back? Yes. I will get into the groove again and start hammering it like a mad man. Oh wait, I am a mad man. But that's what keeps me from going really crazy. Thank God for it.

Pee Wee Field and Strongman Street

Saturday was strongman day. Usually it is. Paul B showed up at 9:24 and we got after it. I didn't hit it too hard because I'm still a bit gun shy due to the tendon soreness. It's gone now, but I want it to stay gone. Remember, I did not squat Wednesday. I did squat some Saturday, just not a lot. I did one warmup set and half of the next set.

We set the frame up in Pee Wee Field. The frame is the attached farmer's handles. We did deadlifts off that. I like variety, and this gave us some. We went up to 242 pounds for one rep.

Then we pulled out the husafell stone. Huh? The real husafell stone is a big rock that resides near Husafell, Iceland. It weights 410 pounds and local custom is for strong men to pick up the stone and carry it around a sheep pen. If you can do that, you get your Man Card punched.

The sport of Strongman has taken up carrying stones, and equipment manufactures have taken to making husafell stones. Mine comes from Titan Fitness and is made of steel in the shape and approximate size of the actual husafell. It is hollow so you can add weight to it. The one at Plate City Extended weights 97 pounds empty. We dropped two 2.5 pounders into it to give us 103 pounds. We're bad like that.Then we carried it down Strongman Street. In case you are wondering, Strongman Street is the alley between Plate City and the back fence.

So we had some fun. We lifted on Pee Wee Field and carried on Strongman Street. And by doing that, I have had a firework show go off in my brain. Boy Howdy, the ideas I have now.

Since I missed some workouts earlier in the week, I still was due a pull session. After eating, resting, and waiting for it to cool off some, I went back to the City and did my second workout of the day. Life is good like that. Thank you, Jesus.