Cry Baby

One more time, listen to me whine.

I am near the breaking point. Last week, I lost another 10,000+ meters of training. Last night at DSU, I showed up in time to get into the water early. Those days are over. For a while, the swim teams that practice before us were absent. They were back last night. Two teams with the pool set up for long course means only eight lanes. Each lane was filled some with four swimmers. No early entry for me.

With all the blows I've been taking that was just one more. Sometimes it's not the hardest one that takes you down but the accumulation. I feel like I've already been knocked out, and I'm trying to get back to me feet. When I did get in at 6:30, I knew right away that I had lost fitness. I swam a slow 800 for a warm up and then had my butt handed to me by Mark Blackwood on a set of 4 X 150s with paddles. We did another set of 150s and I performed a bit better. After that we did 8 X 50, decline 1-4. Then practice was over. I swam 600 easy and then 100 with paddles and was done, exhausted, finished. After only 3,100 meters, I was used up. I had no more.

I drove home in tears and contemplated cancelling the Chicot Challenge. Besides the 10,000 meters lost three weeks ago and again last week, I buried a dog that afternoon, lost $200.00 in cash, and rode by Twin Rivers to find that the pool, which the director told four weeks ago would be up in three, was still empty. I also had to raid my fishing bait money that I was saving to pay for the pontoon boat for the Challenge in order to buy gas to get to DSU. Yes, my bank account is empty. Really empty. Furthermore, my and others efforts to secure sponsorship for the swim have gone without success. 

I began to talk to Jesus. The conversation went like this:

Me: I haven't always been this fragile have I?

Jesus: No.

Me: How did I get here?

Jesus: You've been walking alone.

Me: But I've asked others to pray for me. 

Jesus: Others.

Me: Can we walk together and You help me?

Jesus: I've been waiting on you.

Now for some more good news. I'm not yet throwing in the towel. I found my $200. The coffee tastes good this morning. Luvie was sweet. Luvie is always sweet.