Thursday, November 20, 2014

Tuesday's Swim and Sorrows

Tuesday was a very emotional day, and the sorrow of losing Lucky will last for a long time. Instead of leaving early for my grandchildren and DSU, I waited until Penny got off work so we could chat and cry some together. Maybe I should have stayed home but I needed a swim. It was a good one and seldom am I not amazed at how much a physical effort can make my emotions feel better.

I got 1,450 yards before we started the main set. There were only three of us at practice, and I heard Cagri tell the other two to do six 150s. He turned to me and said, "Twleve 150s, twenty seconds rest. First four do the first 50 fast; second four do the second 50 fast; last four do the third 50 fast."

I liked the set and it felt good and kept my mind off sorrow. I rarely think anything when I swim which may be one reason I enjoy it so much. It's not that I don't enjoy life out of the water. I do. It's just that from time to time I enjoy a different mode of existence. In the water, I can just be for a while. When not running or swimming, I can rarely stop my mind from bouncing to and fro from one worthless thought to the next. Sometimes the thoughts are worthwhile but even then a mind that won't stop, can't stop becomes tiring, exhausting. You could say I exercise to the extreme to get some rest. But that is only one reason.

After the set, I drove home in the darkness, and as usual I became reflective not just about Lucky but on all the losses my wife and I have suffered over the last year. Two pets, two parents, and a church. Besides the loses, however, there have been gains, gifts from God that have helped our lives stay full. I have learned that one must think on these things also.

We have a new church home. I am no longer a pastor but God may open that door again or maybe not. Meanwhile we are happy in the little church we attend. And then there is Baby Kitty the cat we rescued from under our house. He is a joy in his newness of life and not only do Penny and I delight in him, but so does Luvie. Speaking of Luvie, he was insatiable this morning crawling all over me and ramming his head into me over and over. That is why we named him Luvie, because he is. Then there is the empty back yard. To put another dog there now doesn't seem right. It is too soon. Lucky can't just be replaced. But one day, sooner or one day later, we will cross paths with a stray or a reject or a rescue that needs a home. The back yard will be ready for him or her and by then our hearts will be too.