Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Epic Lazy

I never cease to amaze myself with my capacity for laziness. I really am good at nothing, a natural talent. All it takes is a monkey wrench thrown into my plans or a cat to crawl up into bed with me and the day is over. Once a cat gets close, I just want to lounge around and write, drink coffee, and talk cat with the cats. I am totally fluent in cat having studied and practiced for years. Baby Kitty is becoming more vocal so I now have someone to converse with. I like vocal cats. Luvie is not vocal, but he responds to my vocals. I see his ears move as he follows my voice, or his tail flip in response to me talking to him. Sometimes he will trun and look me in the eye or he will roll over on his back a peek at me between little slits in his eyelids while I tell him how pretty he is. He likes attention, and I like giving it to him.

Another factor in my laziness is the strange fact that staying in bed and drinking coffee is exhausting to me. It just wears me totally out, and then I need a nap. With too much caffeine in my system, however, sleep won't come so I try to nap awake. Napping awake involves closing the eyes and being very still with the hope that when the eyes open again I will feel like I have been asleep. The problem with napping awake is that it never has worked for me yet but it seems like a good idea so I keep attempting it over and over again. In fact, napping awake is highly inefficient and usually leaves me even more exhausted, so I need a nap even more. The cats like me to be exhausted because I don't move much and everyone knows that cats like you to be still.

So it is all just a vicious cycle, and then I feel guilty because I didn't get anything done on my list. I always have a list. A typical list reads something like this:

  1) hang out with cats
  2) run eight miles
  3) lift weights
  4) chop up the leaves in the backyard
  5) clean my truck
  6) go to the pond for a short swim
  7) wash dishes.

But what winds up actually happening is I get stuck and the list looks like this at the end of the day:

  1) hung out with cats
  2) hung out with cats
  3) attempted napping while awake
  4) hung out with cats
  5) rode around in turck and thought about what it would be like to ride around in a clean truck
  6) went back home and hung out with cats.

I did manage to get a few things done last week, sandwiched between bouts of epic nothing. I ran a total of 35.36 and walked 3.92 miles. Furthermore, I lifted weights twice and swam 6,900 meters (in a short course pool).

Right now I am in the bowels of the beast also known as final exams. Starting next week, however, I hope to nail some more lazy like a boxer nails his opponent. Or the cats and I will. If I get rested enough, Buddy Bones and I have some really big plans.