I have joined the ranks of esteemed criminals. But don't tell anybody. Please. I know that by writing this I put myself in great jeopardy so mums the word.
Wednesday morning in the Twin Rivers pool, I was all alone in the water but some of the staff, as usual, were on deck cleaning and getting the pool ready for its afternoon invasion of wild kids. On my very first lap, I spotted something shinny on the bottom. I flipped on the south wall and headed back north. When I got to the spot, I stopped and feigned a readjustment of my jammer. Looking around and sure all heads were pointed away from me, I submerged and reemerged with a quarter in hand which I discretely tucked into the leg of my newly adjusted jammer.
On the north wall, I stopped again and pretended to be out of breath while I surveyed the scene. Convinced no one was looking, I hid the quarter under my paddles on deck. No one noticed.
Now I was thinking only one thing: treasure! So I scooted over a bit and had another go at swimming the pool. Back when it was laned, if alone in the water, I always swam every lane at least a couple of times looking for money. Now covering the bottom of the pool is more difficult and less precise. But on my return trip I found another quarter. I did the same thing as before, pretending this time that my goggles messed up to retrieve the coin and then acting like I was out of breath to hide it with the other one under my paddles.
You guessed it. I scooted over some more, and sure enough I found two pennies. By now I was both excited and fearful. Terror gripped me, terror that someone would see what I was doing, or one of the workers would accidentally kick my paddles and discover the loot underneath.
But I persevered. By the time I made it threeforths of the way across the width of the pool, I had found, retrieved, and hidden another quarter. My heart was about to beat out of my chest. Then on the south wall all the way across, I found another penny. That made 78 cents, a record and an enormous haul unmatched in the annals of Twin Rivers swimming.
My thoughts now turned only to getting out, getting away, leaving without getting caught. I swam back to the north wall and slowly exited the entrance ramp. After retrieving the paddles and coins, I sat down to dry off, dress, and get the heck out of Dodge. My heart pounded fiercely. Nervousness consumed me. I tried to act nonchalant, but I felt like guilt was written all over my face.
I was so rattled that I put my towel over my head and walked out looking only at the ground below my feet. Thankfully no one spoke to me because I would not have been able to answer. In my truck, my breathing was shallow and rapid and I cranked up and drove away. Expecting the police to drive up and stop me, I was afraid all the way until I made it to 333 West Monroe where I took my money inside and locked the door behind me. Finally, I felt safe and spilled the coins onto the bed and admired them.
What to do? Usually, I give all change to the Diabetes Foundation of Mississippi. However, no one from the DFM was at the end of Chicot this year to take the bag of change I always have on board to pass off to them. We are having a coin collection at church, but I already give a lot of money to to Centerville. Right now, I am thinking I will either spend the windfall or invest it. If you have a better idea, leave me a comment. In the meantime, praise be to God who blesses the sons of men.
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