Monsters

Tyler, Vicki, and I met at the pool Thursday morning. I had planned an easy 1,300 to taper for the HOD. Things didn't go very well. First, there were two of those monster bugs at the pool entrance. Luckily Blessedly, they were dead. Those things are very ugly, extremely wicked looking, and unbeleivably aggressive. They come after you, and I never knew why, but always assumed it was to try to kill you. 

To make things worse, I forgot my goggles. Who does that? (raises hand meekly). Vicki loaned me a pair of hers which were tight, foggy, and tinted. Tinted goggles a 5:45 means swimming blind. I made a lap and a half, and the goggles broke. The strap either broke or came loose. Now I was still swimming blind.

Since I couldn't find the wall, flip turns were out so at the end of every lap, I stopped to turn around. Then I swam all over the place. When I finally made a 1,000 (or was it 1,100?), we all stopped at the wall. That's when a living monster bug got after me. My screaming gave Tyler and Vicki a jolt and a fright. When I splashed half the water out of the pool, I got out to go home. 

Since we are racing Saturday, Vicki and I were done, but T was going to do some more swimming. Then the monster bug got after Vicki. She survived and got out of the pool. Next-- you guessed it-- the bug started swimming after Tyler. He climbed out of the pool and left with us.

They call it a Giant Water Bug. Look it up. Allegedly, they have a nasty, painful bite that injects venom into its victim. I know it might sound sissy, but these things scare the doo doo out of me, and when one comes after me I sound like a frighted little girl. 

A few years back, there was one in the Twin Rivers pool as big as a sparrow. It was the thing of nightmares. Once he came after me, and I splashed the pool water low and screamed myself hoarse. Another time, one was on the wall on the east side of the pool. I saw him come off the wall as I swam by and he came after me, behind me. I had to outswim him, which I did, but he pursued like a little Jack Russell Terrior wanting to bite my ankle. The problem then when I got to the other end of the pool was, I didn't know where he was. 

Back then, when the pool had the lane lines on the bottom, those things would sometimes hide in the black line where they were almost impossible to see. Then when you swam over, they would emerge to try to kill you. Maybe that is why I was a little faster then than now. It was great interval training, swimming for your life.

When it comes to monster bugs, I am not a manly man. Go ahead and throw rocks, but I want my momma. Save me, please.