Beets Pleads

Screenshot showing Beets birthday as
June 2nd.

Beets Pleads

By Jay Unver

Lehrton, MS (BA) A small but intent crowd gathered at the Big ASS Training Center Conference room this morning to hear Randy Beets plea to his latest charge. As Beets and counsel approached the bench, Johnny Johnson, of Johnson, Johnson, and Johnson, PLLC, asked for discovery. 

Rules, procedures, and order in Big ASS disciplinary matters differ widely from normal practices of law. Upon discovery request, Dr. Nomann showed on the wall via projector  two screenshots, one from Beets' Facebook wall which showed the tall swimmer's birthday as June 2nd revealed friends wishing him a happy birthday. 

The second piece of evidence was a screenshot of a Facebook Message conversation between Betty Ryan Beets, the defendant's mom, and Zane Hodge, who was seeking clarification on her son's birthday. She clearly said the true birthday of her son Randy is August 22nd.

Screenshot showing Beets' birthday
as August 22nd.

Upon seeing the evidence, Beet's attorney immediately asked for a five minute recess which Nomann granted. Upon returning to the conference room a few minutes later, a red-faced Beets entered a plea of nolo contendere.

Nomann proclaimed Beets guilty as charged, and set sentencing "in twenty-four hours" before adjourned court.

Within minutes, fireworks were going off on the square in downtown Lehrton.