Joy in the Morning

If you read my last post, you may have thought I needed a trip to the psych ward. Honestly, I was feeling like I did. But if you read carefully and noticed the tenses, you may have been aware that my dark night of the soul was already beginning to pass by the time I penned that essay.

During my ordeal, a couple of songs by Sawyer Brown crossed my mind. I googled then, found them on YouTube, and listened to them with tears. Some of the wording describes with shocking accuracy what I was enduring:

      Like clown I put on a show
      The pain is real even if nobody knows
      And I'm crying inside and nobody knows it but me

Tuesday morning I dragged out of bed and met John at Twin Rivers Recreation Center. I wasn't sure I could swim at all, but I was willing to give it a go because I could push down with the palm of my hand and feel no pain in the shoulder. I didn't do much, but I did swim for the first time in over three weeks. The total was a mere 500 meters of swimming and 500 of kicking. But I was in the water, I was happy, and hope had returned. "Hoped deferred," the Bible says, "maketh the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" (Proverbs 13:2, KJV).

The shoulder was only mildly uncomfortable on the recovery phase and only then for a few strokes. Nevertheless, I didn't not, would not, pull the water hard. It was like my brain had a governor on my arms. Slow, easy, 50 meters at a time. But it was wet and wonderful. Now I feel like I really am on the way back. The biceps tendons in the shoulder are still sore and the backside of the joint is still tight and sore when I move in certain ways. But I could pull without any negative sensation.

Not only did I swim Tuesday, but Wednesday morning I awoke to a "Bing" from my cell phone. It was MJ Staples. Her message: "Woo hoo!! It's official!" I didn't have to ask what she was referring to but immediately went to the Marathon Swimmers Federation website http://marathonswimmers.org/ to see under their news section that the latest documented swim was Chicot Challenge VI. That was a real kick in the pants. 

Now I am drinking coffee after a good night's sleep. Jeff is beside me, snoring. CC. is on the edge of the bed, sleeping like only a cat can. Life is good. "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning" (Psalm 30:5).