Overheard from the Backseat

Black Friday. No, I shop very little myself, but my wife is a champion. She, our daughter, granddaughter, and this year, my son, made a pilgrimage to Jackson on Black Friday. My role was to serve as chauffeur and pay from supper. I cherished both jobs, did my best, and enjoyed my time with the family. During our travels and travails, I conducted myself as I normally do: speaking little, listening a lot. Here are some things that stuck in my brain, words, phrases, and sometimes sentences. They bounced around inside my head and made their way to my keyboard. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

Do you remember Dragnet? It was a cop show that was all the rave back when I was a little boy. I remember the narrator at the beginning of the show always saying, "Then names have been changed to protect the innocent." Well, in the case the names have been withheld to protect the guilty. They really did say this stuff.

Things Heard from the Backseat

"I don't know why she married him. He looks like a melted piece of cookie dough."

"My husband called me his busted can of biscuits."

"Don't run over me, Poppie!"

"She's in there sniffing candles."

"Didn't he look bad? He looks like ruined pudding."

"Did somebody sit on my candy bar?"

"Let me get in before you drive off!!!"

"Mamma never made me jello."

"What's that smell?"

"Here comes your dad."
"Moma, that's a red Dodge pickup truck. I have a green Ford Explorer."

"For three weeks I had really bad gas. It smelled horrible. I was a crop duster."

"I remember Daddy eating chicken bones."

"What happened to my water? Who drank my water?"

"Will it make me sick if I drink this?"
"Yeah, but do it anyway."

"She went over one aisle, picked a wooden hand off the shelve, came back, stuck it in my face and said, 'Talk to the hand.'"

"Are we gunna eat? I'm getting weak. I'm about to pass out."


"Why is my seat wet?"

"What is this sticky stuff on the console?"

"Did somebody step in dog doo doo?"

"Why is there water on the ceiling?"


We had a good time. I did, at least, and I was well rewarded for my services. The things I heard can't be made up. Thank you, Jesus.

Thanksgiving

I left the house at 8:01 a.m. The temperature was 47, the sky was crystal clear, and I felt free. I only get that feeling when I take really long runs. Right now, 16 miles is a long run.

We do Thanksgiving at Hillbilly Heaven, and I was on my way there. I few tenths of a mile in and a quick check of my watch showed me making a whopping 12:30 per mile pace. I know that is pretty crummy, but at my age, with my injury history, and after going two years without running at all, that number said it was going to be a nice run. I was now completing six months of running and that not without issues. My left knee still gets a little gimpy every now and then, but at this moment it felt just fine.

By the time I made my way over the overpass (three plus miles), I was hitting a 12:08 stride. When I got to Humphrey's Highway, however, I was beginning to slow a bit. I took a gel and focused on getting out of town. One thing I like about Humphrey Highway is the farther out you go, the fewer houses you see and the lighter the traffic becomes.

At the last bridge before the big hill, I heard some cars approaching from the rear. I was on the white line. I think there were three of them. I am not sure because the small pickup that passed them all, almost hitting me, took my breath, my attention, and my sanctification with it. Yes, I did some not so nice yelling and gesturing for him to come back. He passed three or four vehicles in a row, on a bridge, in a curve with a pedestrian on the edge of the road. I did not appreciate that.

I shuffled the Big Hill Mile in 17:10. I am actually proud of that. If you think that is nothing, try it. My daughter and her family drove up while I was huffing the huge hill. She slowed down and checked on me. Then she pulled over at Acy's and waited for me to pass. She is sweet like that.

By the time I got to the gravel road, I was barely moving, but I kept shuffling. When I drew within sight of the house, my grandson, Zane, ran out to meet me. His sister, Caitlin, was not far behind. That, 16.01 miles, was my longest run since I started back. Now that has me rethinking the Mississippi River Marathon. I have been trying to decide between the half and the full. I was leaning towards the half, but now I have shifted towards the full.

After lunch, we did the wood thing, splitting and loading firewood. Actually that was good for me because it made me move around some which is always good for recovery. I awoke this morning and noticed that my legs felt good. How about that. Thank you, Jesus.

Another Truncated Day

Being off work is supposed to mean I can train as much as I want to. Yeah, that and a few other fairy tales I still cling to. I went to the pool at 10:10. I was the only one there for a while. Linda Gail came in and then so did Gloria Hathcock. We three know how to coexist in a small pool. I swam

1,400 27:06 (1:55)
22 X 100 @ 1:58
400 medium paddles
total: 4,000 paddles = 3,656 meters

How is that for simplicity? Did you notice the 100s set? What's that you ask? How far will I go with it? I don't know. All sorts of things are going through my head like continuing to add and subtract as well as spitting it into two sets with some paddle work in between. I can think of so many Beetsdown varieties. That's one thing I love about swimming. You could swim everyday for a lifetime and never exhaust the possibilities of new workouts. But can't you do that with running, you ask. Theoretically yes. But in practice, running, fast running,  is so much more hard on the legs, the muscles and joints, that most of the time now I just shuffle. The hard stuff leaves me in bed wondering why I can't walk.

I did shuffle, 3.26 miles worth. That gives 16.32 for the week. Now if I can get in the run to Hillbilly Heaven I will have a big week even if I don't take another step.

I was planning on and needing a session at Plate City. Then John called and needed some help. That took two hours plus and by the time I was finished, I was very hungry and had cancelled my coaching session with Brad. That makes two days in a row with no gym. Thanksgiving will be three and Black Friday will be four. Make it stop, God, make it stop.

Right now I am up early. I just finished my big bowl of cereal with a banana. The cats are still on the back porch as I am trying not to wake the wife. After I type this, I will start stretching and getting dressed. It is a bit cool out. The adventure beckons. I will answer the call. Thank you, Jesus.

Moonshiners

I like the show Moonshiners. No, I don't believe they are really making moonshine. When they are filmed exchanging jars for money, I think it is all staged for the camera. When they drink that clear liquid and act like it almost knocks them down, I am sure they are drinking water.

But I like the show. I find it entertaining. I find it mildly educational. I like the personalities. Tickle is out of jail, and Bill still can't get along with anybody. The show is fun, relaxing, and good escapism television. And now that Finding Bigfoot is no longer on the air, Moonshiners is running neck and neck with Gold Rush for the best show on TV.

Last night while watching the latest show, a sentiment that I have heard over and over by the cast members sort of jumped out at me. They have all said these exact words or something very similar: 

"We must not lose this art." 

"We need to preserve the old ways." 

"We must not let this die."

How true. I am, however, a little confused. When it comes to preserving the old ways, it's always moonshining they are worried about. What about farming with mules? Why is no one interested in keeping that art alive? My dad grew up farming with mules. When I was eight years old, he bought land in Carroll County. The first year he owned it, an old Black man from across the gravel road came over and broke up the garden place with a mule. We did the rest of the work with garden rakes, shovels, and hoes. I am not interested in preserving those old ways. 

He borrowed a mule and wagon, and a buster from a Black man in the Buckeye when we moved to 422 West Harding. He broke up a garden place in the backyard. One huge garden in Carroll County was not enough. I remember riding in the wagon back to the Buckeye. Dad said, "He knows where he is going," referring to the mule who didn't need the reigns to show him the way. I was three years old. Who is preserving these ways?

What about cutting wood with axes and crosscut saws? I actually did this. We had a fireplace at the cabin and at home. We cut all the wood the old way. Dad was a CPA. He could afford a chainsaw, and he purchased one about the time I left home. When I was a teenager, I even went into business briefly selling firewood. I cut it all with a crosscut and busted with an ax. After selling my first load, I came to the conclusion that the trees looked much better standing than loaded in the back of a pickup. I don't want to preserve that old way. 

And what about outdoor toilets? There were three old houses on the 172 acres Dad bought. We tore them down, cleaned the brick, saved the good wood, and Dad hired Joe Campbell to build a three room cabin on the place. The three rooms were a kitchen/living room, and two bedrooms. What was missing? If you guessed bathroom, you win the prize. Joe Campbell not only built the cabin, but a nice little one-seater outdoor toilet. Really. This happened. Every weekend we were at the cabin. We had a big garden to work. We had an outdoor toilet to use. That thing was heinous. If you dropped a ping-pong ball in the hole and it would never make its way to the bottom. Spider webs would capture it long before it could join the festivities in the pit. You were supposed to sit your butt and drop your penis into that den of spiders, wasps, and other creepy things. I could not do it. That was the stuff of nightmares. Why don't they preserve this art form on Moonshiners?

When I was a young man, I went to the cabin one Saturday to study in the quiet that Carroll County provides. By this time, my mom had built a bathroom in the cabin. She framed it, wired it, plumbed it, trimmed it. She could do anything. Outside, however, that old outhouse still stood. To make a long story short, a brush fire hit. I could easily have died, but I survived and saved the cabin which I put out twice. The outhouse, however, was turned into a violent whirlwind of flames the instant the fire touched it. Dad was furious with me. Furious for not saving the outhouse.

What I am about to say is true, every word of it. That outhouse was insured. I promise. Who does that? Who has insurance on an outdoor toilet? And what was Farm Bureau thinking? The day Dad received his insurance check, the day, he went to the building and supply place, purchased plywood, 2 X 4s, nails, and roll roofing and he took Mom, the carpenter of our family, and they went out there and rebuilt the outhouse. I still shake my head at all that. Dad told Mom that they were going to build a two-seater. She protested, "I'm not going to sit on that with anybody!" He replied that not everyone has the same size butt.

That toilet is there to this moment. If you want to see it, send me a message. I'll take you out there and let you look. You can even sit on it. I'll walk away and let you have your privacy. Who wants to? Who wants to preserve this old way?

How about no electricity? Let's save that. What about dental surgery without anesthesia? How about going back to the horse and buggy days? I know, the Amish do that. But I even wonder about them. That horse and buggy was the state-of-the-art mode of personal transportation when they adopted it. It was modern at the time. Why is that modern better than today's modern?

These people suffer from an illness called nostalgia. What the moonshiners really like is the "art" of being illegal. They love the lure of the illicit, the pull of the profit, the folly of the fame of being on TV. 

Nostalgia is a strange thing. I suffer it in some equally inconsistent ways. When I hear a mosquito truck driving the streets of Greenwood at night shooting out that insecticide, I waft back to my childhood. Poor kids today. They never got to experience the joys of running behind a truck putting out a cloud of DDT so thick you could not see through it. Quick, grab your kids. Let's get one of those old spray rigs and douse our children with insecticide. Let's preserve the old ways. Let's keep that art form alive, even it it kills us.

Truncated Tuesday

The best laid plans of mice and men. How does that saying go? I had big plans Tuesday, but you can't cash promises, plans, or daydreams. I did start hard, on pace, on schedule with a big practice at the pool. I went in again after 10:00 a.m. and swam

1,400 25:25 (1:48)
7 X 50 @ 1:09
250 medium paddles
7 X 50 @ 1:09
250 medium paddles
7 X 50 @ 1:09
250 medium paddles
800 small paddles
100 finger paddles
total: 4,100 yards = 3,747 meters

That't two straight days of plus 4,000 yards. I am getting ready for the Mississippi State Senior Olympics and Chicot Challenge IX. They are both still a ways out there, but I want to perform better than last year in each event.

After lunch, rest, and cats, I shuffled 4.65 miles. That is a little more than I usually do on an easy day, but being off work I thought this would be a good week for some volume. Thursday I plan to run to Hillbilly Heaven. I have one more day before that run to try to ride the rail between getting in miles and recovering enough to make that long run.

I had planned to move my squat day to Tuesday to get me a better shot at having a successful shuffle on Thanksgiving. But it began to rain, and not just a little. I could have gone to Twin Rivers but I lost motivation once Moonshiners came on. I'll talk more about that later. It was still a good day. I did do a set of twenty air squats to get some leg work in. Thank you, Jesus.

Corrections and Changes

Corrections and Changes

by Jay Unver

(Lehrton, Mississippi) Dr. Nomann and I were going through the Big ASS record book last week. This is a constant since Zane Hodge is setting world records almost every single week. We found something amiss. Noting nefarious, but in our numbering of the Zane Hodge/Randy Beets Virtual Swim Meets, the numbering sequence somehow went astray. The meet held October 25th was never numbered. It should have been number 3, but the next week's meet was given that number. 

Not only that, but Nomann decided to renumber the entire series anyway since the initial race between the two champions was designated a match race instead of a meet. Thus, what follows here is a lay out of all the meets, the results, and their new numbers. What was match race will now be officially designated Virtual Meet I (There is another upgrade, the numberings will now use Roman instead of Arabic numerals). The skipped meet will be included, and this list will form the official record from here on.

Meet                     Event[s]         Times                        Winner
                                                                  Hodge       Beets  

Virtual Meet I         500 yards         7:16          7:19           Hodge

Virtual Meet II        200                  2:47          2:40          Draw (points meet)  
                             50                   36.76         31
                             100                 1:22           1:09
                             500                 8:23           DNF

Virtual Meet III      300                  4:26           4:14           Beets
                            100                  1:20           1:10
                            600                  9:16           9:09

Virtual Meet IV       250                  3:38           3:33           Beets
                            100                  1:19.91       1:12
                            650                  10:15          10:01

Virtual Meet V        500                  7:30            7:37          Hodge
                            500                  7:30            7:33
                            500                  7:28            7:28

Virtual Meet VI      700                   10:34          10:40         Beets
                           100                    1:18            1:08
                           300                    4:26            4:28

Virtual Meet VII    200                    2:52            2:45          Hodge
                           600                    9:01            9:18
                           200                    2:51            2:47

Virtual Meet VIII   1,000                 15:28.38      15:35        Hodge

At present, Hodge leads the series 4 - 3 - 1. Periodic updates of the official record will be published in The Lehrton Gazette, which is always serialized here. 

Monster Monday

I took full advantage of being off work to get some big sessions in. I did cats and coffee first, being in no hurry since John was out. He is always pushing me to be earlier while he is almost always late. I got to the pool about 10:15. I swam

1,400 25:53 (1:50)
10 X 200 @ 3:49
600 medium paddles
300 small paddles
total: 4,300 yards = 3,930 meters

That was a solid practice. From the start it was different. I was pulling the water better. It felt like I was getting a more vertical forearm, and I could actually feel the water above my hand for about eight inches. Maybe all that rotator cuff work is starting to pay off. Actually, it has already paid off in the form of healthy shoulders. But the water felt different all morning. My easy warm up was at 1:50. When I started the 200s, although I was doing ten and although I had cut a second off the interval, after the first one I said, "Wow," out loud when I looked at my watch. I did the first three at sub 3:00. "That's not so fast," you say. "A couple of weeks ago you hit 2:51." Yeah, 2:51 for one. Try starting out a set of ten that fast feeling like you are only cruising. It was wonderful, a real Randy Beetsdown.

After lunch and rest,  I went out for a gently shuffle. I did 8.41 miles, slow, but a good total. Then at Plate City, I benched

10 X 95
5 X 120
3 X 140
3 X 145
3 X 150
3 X 150
3 X 150
3 X 155
2 X 155
2 X 155
1 X 160
4 X 145

That's Randy Beetsdown benching right there. Then I did a set of overhead dumbbell presses followed by two sets of the log press at 12 X 52 (a new world record) and 8 X 57 (another record).

Poor Randy. He doesn't have a chance. Thank you, Jesus.

Recurring Dreams

Do you have them? Recurring dreams? I do and they make me wonder. Why? What do they mean? Is God trying to tell me something? Am I neurotic? Am I normal? Do other people have these?

A while back I wrote about a one of my recurring dreams. It's OK, I don't expect you to remember. In this dream I came upon a town square. Where there is normally the county courthouse, here was the bricked back of an aging apartment building. There were no doors or windows but gas meters every thirty feet or so across the building and up for several floors. Who and how do those meters get read was the question I had.

I have had others. In one dream I have not had for a few years, I am on the run from the law. In one of these iterations, someone put me in the trunk of their car, at night, and drove me to Jackson, Mississippi. From their I called a friend on the coast who picked me up and drove me to Florida where another friend helped get me out of the country, to Germany. The law is always only a step behind me and the fear is palpable even in my sleep. Sometimes I am literally running in these dreams, running in the woods, running down roads, alleys, across parking lots trying to get away. I wonder why. I stay out of trouble with the police so why does this dream keep showing up?

Another recurring night vision I have involves me being at church with cars pulling in fast and furious. The people are filling the pews, and I have not even studied. I am sitting in a little office and the dread of not being ready begins to overwhelm me. What to do? I don't even know what I am going to preach. In one of these dreams, besides all of the above, my shoes are muddy. I can't go to the pulpit looking like this, I think looking at my shoes. At least I can understand this one. I have this one because for years I felt under constant pressure to preach, to prepare, to come up with another sermon. My fear always was that I would not be prepared. I had this one a often for many years, but I have not had it in a long time. Maybe I finally trust God that if I do my part, He will do His and I will be ready.

Last night I had another recurring dream that caused me to awake and once more wonder why. In this one, I am leading some people through a huge building. The building is aged but magnificent. We are trying to get to a particular place. There are occasionally hallways but more often than not there are none. We go through a door into a large room. A single secretary sits behind a desk. We go out another door into another room. Once, we come upon a roundabout where halls branch off in every direction. 

We follow a hall, go through another door, out another door, into a large men's restroom that has thirty urinals and ornate trim work that looks like it alone costs more than my pickup truck. We go into another hall, up and flight of stairs, into another room. We ask the secretary which way. She silently points a finger behind her and we go that way. We get behind a small group that vows they know the way, but we soon lose them in the maze of rooms, doors, hallways, and stairs, restrooms. We never get there, wherever "there" is before I awake.

This dream totally confuses me. I keep having it. Why? What does it mean? It seems to say I am lost, but lost how? During the dream I keep thinking "This should not be this difficult." I do think that about a lot of things I have to daily deal with. Maybe it is a subconscious protest about unnecessary complexity. At work, for instance, we have tasks to do on the computer. The things we do once a year are easy to get to. The things we do everyday, several times a day, require clicks, scrolling, more clicks, more scrolling, wasted time, wasted time. Why is this set up this way? Who does this to us? Why do they hate us? Why such senseless inefficiency?

Maybe, however, it has to do with an old memory when something like this actually happened. When I was a Ph.D. student at Mid-America Baptist Theological Seminary, one of our professors required us to attend the Evangelical Theological Society meeting held at the Opryland Hotel in Nashville. A group of us walked almost an hour looking for the area that held the sessions we were looking for. We walked past motel rooms, past conference rooms, past cafeterias, past restrooms, past gymnasiums. Our feet hurt by the time we got where we were trying to go. Yes, that place really is that big.

Oh well. Do you have recurring dreams? Do they trouble you, confuse you, make you wonder? Tell me about them, if you will. I'd like to think I'm not the only one.

11/18 - 11/24

I put in another Randy Beetsdown week. Monday I swam 4,100 yards, ran 3.14 miles, and lifted weights. Tuesday I swam 4,000 yards, ran 3.23 miles, and lifted some more.

Wednesday I hit a really big one in the pool putting in 4,500 yards. On the road I shuffled 4.46, and at Plate City it was leg day. Thursday, I did even more in the water amassing 4,700 yards. I did not run, however, because something felt a little uncomfortable Wednesday. Better sorry than safe. At the gym, though, I hit it hard.

Friday was Virtual Swim Meet 6 (I will publish another post on the meets; I left one out in the numbering and the first one we called a match race; I plan to renumber them to correct the numbers and put in one spot all the results). I won, praise be to God and swam a total of 2,700 yards with the warm up, race, and cool down. Because I was pressed for time, I did not run or lift weights.

Saturday was a nice one, a slow-start day with coffee, cats, and gently study followed by a 12.13-mile run. I did not swim, but I lifted hard and heavy, watched lots of college football, and enjoyed myself much.

For the week, I

swam 19,420 meters,
ran 22.96 miles, and 
lifted weights five times.

That was a solid week. Thank you, Jesus.

Saturday with Coffee

Why does it seem like I never have a morning to drink coffee as long as I want? John is always wanting me to change something. After months, he finally talked me into going early on Friday, my usual coffee and cat day. So Saturday I doubled up; I made relaxing, coffee drinking, and cat petting job number one. No going in to the pool early. No hard studying early. No Facebook early. No consciousness early. I woke up late and lounged long. I sipped and took it easy and the cats liked it too.

I did finally get out for some activity around noon. I shuffled for 12.13 miles. The pace was slow, as usual, and I stopped not because I was tired, but because I wanted to watch some football. During halftime of one of the games I watched, I decided it was time to visit Plate City. I did squats. Those numbers are classified. I also worked on the log press. I pushed

11 X 52
4 X 72
2 X 77
2 X 77

I also did a bunch of other stuff. For the first time in several weeks, I dead lifted, did reverse hypers, leg curls, leg extensions, and neck work. Then I went inside for, what? Yeah, more football. I love this time of year. Thank you, Jesus.

Early Interview

Early Interview

by Jay Unver

(Lehrton, Mississippi) I went by early to interview Zane Hodge after his victory in Virtual Swim Meet 6. The meet was a single event, 1,000 yards short course. Last week, the party was in full swing when I went to the rear of 333 West Monroe. This time, I hoped to get ahead of the gunfire, yehaas, and stumble bums so I went at 3:00 in the afternoon. 

I had to park in the back, in a yard off Adams, and pay $5.00 to do it.

As I climbed over the back fence, I noticed one fire was already burning--making coals-- where they roasted a pig last week. A couple of middle-aged men were digging another pig. Hodge spotted me and said, "Two pigs this week. Two pigs. We're gunna party all night."

"Marvelous," I answered.

Then I noticed the big aluminum ladder going up the back of the house. Robbed choir members were climbing the ladder.

"The choir is gunna be up there," Hodge said with delight pointing to his roof. He  then pointed to the outbuilding. "The bluegrass band his going to be up there," he said motioning to the roof of that building. Already there were old men pulling banjos to the roof by a rope.

"Where's the marching band going to be?" I asked in jest.

"In the alley," Hodge quickly responded. "That's why we are parking in those two yards over there."

Unbelievable, I thought.

"The guns? Where are the guns?"

"Everywhere," Hodge rejoiced. "Everywhere."

"Let's get this done. How do you feel about the swim meet?"

Hodge motioned with his hands around him. "What do you think?"

"I know you're happy," I answered, "but tell me about the swim."

"Well, when I got Beets' results, I about crapped my pants. I was trying to figure out the night before what I could swim 1,000 in. I thought I might could break 16:00. When I read that he swam 15:35, I thought, 'Oh heck.'"

"So Beets' surprised you?"

"Yeah, a lot. He's way better than he used to be. I was expecting to win this one by twenty to thirty seconds. Seven seconds over 1,000 yards is less than one second per 100 yards. That is way closer than I expected."

"Have you guys agreed on the next meet?"

"Yes. We are not racing this Friday. But the Friday after that, we are doing 4 X 400."

"Any predictions?"

"Yeah. Victory, total victory."

"Thanks. I'll see after that meet."

Thriday

Thriday was simple. I like simple. I went to the pool with a simple plan. No fancy sets. No elaborate plans. Nothing new programmed into my watch. I just swam. I do that now once per week. When Chicot begins to draw near, I will do it more often. I swam 4,700 straight in a slow 1:33:42 which comes out to a 1:59 per 100 average. That felt good.

At work, things were simple. In Comp II, the students were working on papers. So I blogged and answered questions. In Comp I, we went over the last paper we turned in. And we also discussed some post I put off the board which I tool off social media. The state of the English language is not good and it appears to be getting worse year by year. I am doing my part, but I am just one person. By putting these things on the board, I am trying to demonstrate the practicality of English studies. So many people can't effectively communicate because they did not take English classes seriously.

I got off work and felt free. Next week we are off. I watched some Paul Finebaum then ran some errands. I did not run. I had some discomforts in my leg Wednesday while running so I took the day off. I am even thinking of doing only the half at the Mississippi River Marathon. I had thought I would do the full, but wisdom tells me not to push it that hard. I have a better chance of staying healthy if I run the mileage and the long runs that I am doing now.

At Plate City, it was bench day. I pressed

18 X 95
13 X 115
9 X 125
6 X 130

Incline bench with Swiss bar

15 X plus 20
13 X plus 30

Log Press

8 X 52
10 X 52

Triceps push down

22 X 35
23 X 25

That was a pretty good workout. Now for Virtual Swim Meet 6 Friday morning. Thank you, Jesus.

VSM 6 and New Records

VSM 6 and New Records

by Jay Unver

(Lehrton, Mississippi) Zane Hodge and Randy Beets are tied in the new Big ASS series of virtual swim meets. After five meets, both athletes have won two and they tied in one. With the odds astronomically against a tie, this Friday's VSM will almost certainly break the knot up. Before getting to the meet, however, I need to discuss some of Hodge's recent records in the Association of Sports Strongmen.

Hodge set new marks in the Log Press and the Husafell Stone. Hodge bested his own Husafell record of 115 pounds for fifteen feet by loading his stone to 116 pounds and adding a foot to the distance. In addition to that mark, Hodge set the record for the barbell carry by toting 80 pounds on his back for .14 miles. Beets has yet to respond to any of Hodge's strength records.

The Log Press has seen Hodge set and reset the record several times lately. First, Hodge set the mark at 72 pounds. However, he has upped that repeatedly over the past few week, first to 77 pounds, then 82, and just this past Monday to 87 pounds. And just last night, Hodge set the squat record at 125 pounds. "I know that's a pretty anemic number on the squat, but it is a start. I'm working hard on that lift and the record will come up."

Hodge also has beaten Beets again in an abstentia ten-mile road race. This victory, which took place November the 9th, makes Hodge the Ten-mile Big ASS world champion to go along with his world championships in sprint triathlon, open water swimming, and 5K and 10K road races. 

For Friday's virtual swim meet, the two stars are set to showdown at one distance only: 1,000 yards. When asked about the race, Hodge confessed his nervousness. "I have never done 1,000 for time before. I figure this one will hurt, but it is a good distance for me. I expect to win."

Stay tuned for results which will be posted here as soon as possible.

What Day Is It?

Huh? What day is it? Come on, tell me. 

No, it is not hump day. That is Tuesday afternoon which is one half of my work week. Yeah, eat your heart out.

Wednesday is . . . ? Really, you can't do it? Wednesday is the day I swim 100s. Thanks for paying attention. I swam

1,300 26:44 (2:01)
21 X 100 @ 1:59
800 medium paddles
300 small paddles
total: 4,500 yards = 4,295 meters

How about that? Did you notice? Well stop acting like you are reading if you are not even going to try to comprehend. I added a 100 and cut a second off the interval. Don't say I'm a sandbagger, sandbagger.

After work, I needed a nap. Yeah, eat your heart out. Then I shuffled for 4.46 miles. I was fretting at the house about where to run. Sometimes I get uninspired by the same ole same ole running routes. I thought and thought and thought and could come up with nothing. I went out the front door and headed east on Monroe still thinking and then it hit me. The river trail. Bingo! So I ran to the trail, got on it, and was immediately blessed by the beauty of this mini-wilderness that is so close to my front door. 

One little snippet of the Yazoo River Trail.

After I left the trail, I got on the gravel road at the end of Claiborne and was going to run it until I noticed the turn row on the left between town and the gravel road. I took it and ran it until I made my way to Park Avenue. It was different, and easy on my legs.

When I got home, it was time for Plate City. Earlier in the day, I had thought about doing an alley workout, but when the time came, I did not have the stuff. The stuff inside. Alley workouts are difficult. They are intense and painful. So I opted instead to just lift. It was leg day so I just did squats and leg extensions. I left off the accessory work. But at least I went out there and did some stuff.

So it was a good day. Thank you, Jesus, for it.

Tuesday

After my big 200s set Monday, I thought I needed to make the 50s I usually do on Tuesday count. Last week, I was not sure I did enough of them or that I did them fast enough. Last week I did 4 X 50 followed by 150 medium paddles four times through. This week, the practice looked like this:

1,300 26:30 (2:01)
6 X 50 @ 1:09
200 medium paddles
6 X 50 @ 1:09
200 medium paddles
6 X 50 @ 1:09
200 medium paddles
1,000 small paddles
total: 4,000 yards = 3,656 meters

I still feel like I am not hitting the 50s hard enough. The 50s are for speed. Although I am an all-day swimmer, speed is never a weakness.

I finally had an uncrowded day, and I managed to waste much of the afternoon. I did shuffle 3.23 miles. At Plate City I did lots of rotator cuff stuff and much pulling. On the one-armed bent row, I pulled

13 X 45
5 X 55
5 X 55
5 X 55
5 X 55
5 X 55

I am now at the place where I need a heavier dumbbell. The 55 is my biggest. Next time I go to Jackson, I plan to try to purchase ad 60 if I can find one. In addition to the one-armed bent rows, I did pullups, dumbbell curls, and one set of the Swim Pull. When I went inside, I felt like I had hit the muscles pretty hard. Thank you, Jesus.

Crowded Monday

My Babylonian Captivity my be over, but I still had a crowded Monday. At least the morning was not crowded. I went to the pool a little before 4:30 and swam

1,300 27:00 (2:04)
9 X 200 @ 3:50
1,000 medium paddles
total: 4,100 yards = 3,747 meters

That was a pretty simple practice and a pretty good one if you ask me. I was faster on the 200s than last week even with the extra second taken off the interval. 

It seems like I used to get home from work and have time to workout. I had to rush my run of 3.14 miles so I would have time to rush my workout at Plate City. Why the rush? We had Over 60s which means I could not workout much so I would have time to go gain weight. I do enjoy Over 60s, but all this eating is too much. We eat out on Friday night. We had an eating at the church on Saturday night. We eat out for Sunday lunch. Then we had to eat Monday night. Tuesday we eat at work. It is really difficult for me to do all this special eating and not over do it. 

At the gym, I benched

10 X 95
5 X 120
3 X 140
3 X 140
3 X 145
3 X 145
3 X 150
3 X 150
2 X 155 (I missed on the third)
2 X 155
2 X 155
2 X 155

Overhead dumbbell press

12 X 20

Log Press

1 X 82
missed at 87
1 X 87

Triceps push down

25 X 35

Overall, it was a good day. Now, I hope to have an unrushed Tuesday so I can bust out some big training and big cat petting. Thank you, Jesus.

11/11 - 11/17

Another solid week of training is in the bank, and Randy Beets is the worst for it. Monday I swam 3,700 yards. The swim included an 8 X 200 set. In the afternoon I ran 2.65 miles, and lifted weights. A productive day.

Tuesday I swam 3,800 yards. The quality was not especially high, but I did do some 50s, a bunch of them. Later I shuffled 6.39 miles, and I did not get to lift weights. I do not remember why the weightlifting got bypassed. I think we had to attend some sort of event.

Wednesday I swam 3,900 with at 20 X 100 set. That's good training. My shuffle was 3.04 miles, and the weight training was solid. I did something I had never done before: I did some loaded barbell walking to go along with all the pulling I did at the gym. 

Thursday was glorious because it was the final day of my Babylonian Captivity. I am so ready for my normal schedule. I did a straight swim at the pool. I like to do that once a week. I made 4,300 yards before it was time to get out. That afternoon I shuffled 3.22 miles with a renewed sense of freedom. I did light benches and watched YouTube to cap off the day.

Friday was Virtual Swim Meet 5. I won narrowly, but a victory is a victory. I climbed out of the pool thinking I had lost. I knew he beat me in the two 200s. I did not remember his 600 time, but I thought I won that one by a few seconds at most. When I checked my phone, I saw that I had outpaced the tall guy but seventeen seconds on the 600 which more than made up for the two 200s. That felt really good. One of my knees felt gimpy so I did not run, but I did lift weights.

Saturday, shuffled 10.15 miles. After that, I lifted weights doing squats and log presses. I don't know why, but I really enjoy the log press. Maybe it is the novelty of it. Maybe it is because it works the deltoids so thoroughly. Maybe it's because I am making fast progress like you usually do with a new move. Maybe it's all of the above. I cut things a little short on account of the harvest festival we had at Centerville. I ate way, way too much. How to cope with that?

For the week, I 

swam 17,449 meters,
ran 25.42 miles, and 
lifted weights five times.

My yearly total on the swim is now up to 503 miles. That is getting close to my yearly average which means I am solidly on the road back. Thank you, Jesus.

Party at Casa de Hodge

Party at Casa de Hodge

by Jay Unver

(Lehrton, Mississippi) I went by to see Zane Hodge to get his reaction to Virtual Swim Meet 5. Hodge won the meet after narrowly losing Virtual Swim Meet 4. I found a note on the front door of his house that said, Come to the back. I heard music, singing, and laughter floating from the backyard to the front porch.

So I got in my car and drove around to the alley. Pickup trucks were baked up for four houses. I got out and began to walk towards the rear of 333 West Monroe. As I approached, I noticed some bleachers had been set up in the inset area where Hodge does his alley workouts. A robed African-American choir was on the bleachers swaying while they sang "Glory Hallelujah."

A huge banner was tied to Hodge's back fence that read:

                                          Hodge Whips Beets!!! 

As I was climbing over the fence, just like I do when I come here to interview him while he is working out, a stumbling Bubba pulled a shotgun from a pickup and fired three shots into the air.

"Yeehaa!!" somebody else yelled.

After I regathered myself, I made it over the fence. People were as thick as flees on a dump dog. I waded through them for a few minutes until I found Hodge. He was being slapped on the back by a fan, a friend?

"Congratulations, Champ!!!"

Hodge was smiling from ear to ear. "Thanks," he said. "Thanks a lot."

Then seeing me he yelled, "Jay Unver. Come to interview the champ?"

"Looks like you're happy," I responded.

"What's not to be happy about? I'm back on top. Yeehaaaa," he yelled.

Then there was more gunfire from the alley. I flinched.

"You'll get used to the shooting," yelled Hodge over the noise while slapping me on the arm. 

This is a cross between a party and a riot, I thought looking around. 

"How do you get away with all the gunfire?" I asked.

"The police have already been out," he yelled. "They said as long as we don't shoot nobody, everything is cool. How about that?"

"Remarkable," I answered. "You just used a double negative."

He shot me a look before asking, "Want something to drink?" while he pointed to a table. "We have Kool Aid and undecafinated tea. Help yourself."

Then I noticed the pig. A couple of men were tending a pig roasting over a pit of glowing red coals. He has pulled out all the stops, I mused.

"You sure are making a big deal of this," I muttered speaking partly to myself.

"It is a big deal," he shouted. "I whipped Beets in the pool, and I set new records in the Association of Sports Strongmen. I feel great!" he shouted while throwing his head back.

About that time I noticed a small man on the bench press pinned by the neck under a bar. "Dude," I yelled. Hodge walked over, lifted the bar, and told the guy to walk it off. He was blue in the face and unresponsive. Then Hodge shouted out for someone to "get the man some Kool Aid."

I took this as my cue to leave. I suspect they were out there all night. I'm not sure if the bench presser lived or died. I'll check the police docket Monday.

Friday

John and I met at Twin Rivers at 10:10. We were not alone. I did not have a problem with the other folks. We can swim three in there and have a walker or two. But John felt too crowded so we will probably move our time next Friday. Anyway, I had a good practice. I swam

1,250 23:14 (1:51)
200 for time 2:52 (1:25)
300 easy 5:42 (1:53)
600 for time 9:01 (1:30)
350 easy 6:32 (1:51)
200 for time 2:51 (1:25)
500 medium paddles
total: 3,400 yards = 3,107 meters

That was a good practice. I left feeling like I had had enough.

I did not run that afternoon. My knee was feeling gimpy so I took the day off. I did, however, go to Plate City. I did pulling: reverse flys with bands, seated rows, pullups and chinups. I finished with Swim Pulls. It was a solid day. Thank you, Jesus.

Thriday

Thriday came around and ended my Babylonian Captivity. Thank you, Jesus. By the grace of God, I started the day at the pool where I did a straight swim of 4,300 yards in 1:22:40 at an average pace of 1:55 per 100 yards. Remember yesterday's pace? I didn't think so. I averaged 2:02 for 1,250. But after that I did the 20 X 100 @ 2:00 set and BAM! I am swimming faster in one day. Note also, that this was an easy swim, just cruising along with no thought of speed. Randy Beets is in trouble.

After I got off work, I went home and did my afternoon shuffle. This time I got in 3.22 miles. I managed to make it to Plate City for light bench day. I bench pressed

18 X 95
13 X 115
8 X 120
6 X 125

On the overhead dumbbell press I did

5 X 25
1 X 30
1 X 35

Then I got to play around with the log. I really enjoy that. I pressed

1 X 68
1 X 72
1 X 77
1 X 77

I did some triceps pushdowns and called it a day. A good one. Thank you, Jesus.

Greenwood Mentoring Group

Ask people what's wrong with Greenwood, and they will tell you. They, young/old, black/white, rich/poor, have a laundry list of things they would like to see changed. We don't have a movie theater anymore; there is no place to eat (but most of us are overweight); crime is bad; poverty is worse; the young people have nothing to do; there are no jobs, no opportunities; racism is rampant, hatred flows like a river; Greenwood is drowning in hopelessness.

I have long lamented the "leaders" of our town who spew verbiage but offer no solutions. I have shaken my head at "leaders" who, like Don Quixote, attack windmills while real problems go unaddressed. I'll give you one example before moving on. A few years back, "leaders" liked to be quoted as saying they were fighting to keep Mississippi Valley State University from being closed. In vain I looked far and wide for any hint that anyone had ever even suggested that Valley should be closed. But "leader" after "leader" stood up to take on the 
windmill.

Bill Clay working with a child.

Enter a hero, a real hero, a knight, a leader. His name is Bill Clay, and he stands head and shoulders over the town, literally. At six foot six, he not only cuts an impressive physical stature, but he bypasses the windmills and fights real problems. In October of 2004, he founded the Greenwood Mentoring Group, an after school program that offers tutoring, academic support, and cultural enrichment to needy children. Besides their school lessons, they learn hope, respect, responsibility, punctuality. They take educational field trips; they see that there is a world beyond the streets of their own neighborhood. With the help of Linda Whittington, a host of volunteers and donors, they are making a difference, changing lives, improving their world. I respect that. I applaud that. I support that.

Last night, my wife and I attended a get together at 124 Avenue G, the home of Greenwood Mentoring Group. It was an "Appreciation Dinner" for donors. When we got there, I looked around the crowded room. I knew some of these people, and there is no doubt that some of them write big checks to GMG. I write small checks. I write embarrassingly small checks, one every now and then. But four days after I lick a stamp and mail a tax deductible donation to GMG, I receive a handwritten thank you note from Bill Clay. Please support this answer, this ministry, this light shinning in the darkness. Write a check and donate to Greenwood Mentoring Group. Mail to 124 Avenue G, Greenwood, Mississippi 38930.

Linda Whittington at Greenwood Mentoring Group.

Why 20 X 100 @ 2:00 Is the Best Set Ever

I did it Wednesday morning. I swam, for the first time in years, my old 20 X 100 @ 2:00 set. It wasn't that bad. What was I so afraid of? I am convinced that is the best set I can do for improving swimming performance. It is a stamina set. Since that doesn't mean anything anymore, I am forced to explain.

Stamina and endurance are not the same thing, are not synonyms, despite that fact that ten out of nine people using the terms use them as the same. Endurance, as applied to swimming, is the ability to swim for a long time. Stamina, as applied to swimming, is the ability to swim for a long time fast. Think of stamina as endurance intensified. 

So stamina includes all the elements of performance, at least as it relate to swimming or running. It includes speed and endurance. Thus if one trains stamina, one trains the other elements at the same time.

I know what you're thinking. If stamina is all that, then why train anything else? Good question. Logical question. The answer is simple. You only train stamina occasionally because you will shoot yourself if you train it everyday. It is too much, too painful, takes too much out of you to put a little into you.

Back to my 20 X 100 @ 2:00. The 100s are short enough that they produce speed. The 20 reps are numerous enough that they produce endurance. The 2:00 minute interval is short enough that recovery is not complete between repetitions. The body has to deal with a lot of fatigue and the buildup of lactic acid. Speed plus endurance plus lactic acid buffering equals stamina, the ability to hammer, to go hard and keep at it. Furthermore, this set produces mental toughness as well as confidence. I have long said that confidence is overrated. I stand by that statement. Confidence, however, is never a bad thing.

Here is what I swam Wednesday morning.

1,250 25:33 (2:02)

20 X 100 @ 2:00

650 medium paddles

total: 3,900 yards = 3,564 meters

Notice my warm up pace. Check out my warm up pace tomorrow.

I had to work until 4:00 0'clock. Scratch that. I worked until 5:00. I had to sit on an interview committee. I knew it would be a long day, and I did not lift Tuesday, so I ran at lunch. I got in a whopping 3.04 miles. Yeehaa.

Since I did not lift Tuesday, I had to do a twofer session at Plate City. I did squats and upper body pulling. Besides the squats, I did some barbell walking, that is loading a barbell and carrying it. I walked .12 of a mile with 65 pounds. Then I walked .13 with 75 pounds. After that, I walked .14 with 80 pounds. I think this is going to help my overall strength and should improve my running after I have been doing it for a bit. I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, you could do more than that. Probably you could. I know I could, but I always begin a new exercise low and slow to give my body time to prepare for the new stress. I don't want to be foolish and get injured.

So it was a good day, a full one, and I am looking forward to the end of my Babylonian captivity. Then I am going to bust out some real training. Thank you, Jesus.

Baby It's Cold Outside

June was cool. Everyday I was reminding myself of how blessed I was to be running in a normally hot month in 85 or 86 degree weather. It was like that the whole month, and I knew I was blessed.

July was normal. That means hot. I was reminding myself that winter is the reward for running through the summer. I told myself that often. I grinded it out day by day just trying to survive, make it through, keep at it until the weather changes, the summer ends

August was normal. That means it was hot. I reminded myself that winter is the reward for running through summer. Again. And some more. It will be worth it, I told myself over and over and over.

September was hot. September was very hot. September was brutally hot. September was our hottest month here in Mississippi in 2019. Once, on the 12th, I watched the local weather and the weatherman said that we had set record highs on ten of the past twelve days. The heat did not relent the entire month. We had high 90s and a few 100s all the way through.

October started hot. Then October became October. It cooled off and running was pleasant again. October was pretty much normal. That meant cool nights and mornings and warm but not hot afternoons

Now we are in November and the weather is doing crazy things. Normally we get our first frost about mid-month. We have had six or seven by today, the 13th. This morning, the low hit 18. What?!?!? Yes, 18. There are whole years that pass here without it ever getting that cold. I put my swim bag in the back of my pickup this morning and by the time I drove the .8 of a mile home, it had frozen. Wow, just wow.

Some people scream global warming. Other people scream NOT global warming. Still others shout climate change. I'll tell you what it is. Do you really want to know? O.K., I'll tell you. It's weather. Weather changes. Weather surprises you. Weather breaks norms, and it doesn't ask anyone's permission or advice. Even the best meteorologist can only predict the weather, with a modicum of success, for five days out. Anything beyond that, they tell us, is witchcraft. So relax. Enjoy it. Marvel at it if you must. Without the weather, what would we have to talk about? Not much around here.  

Tuesday

If I don't get back to my regular schedule soon, I am going to be a dangerous man. I worked until 4:00. Again. Then Penny and I went to a funeral visitation. After that, it was time to try to get some training in. But before the workday started, I made it to the pool. The late afternoons don't have an effect on that at least. I  swam

1,250
4 X 50
150 medium paddles
4 X 50
150 medium paddles
4 X 50 
150 medium paddles
4 X 50
150 medium paddles
250 large paddles
400 small paddles
100 extra large paddles
2 X 75 forearm paddles
200 small paddles
total: 3,800 yards = 3,473 meters

After the visitation, I dressed to go out for a shuffle. I had already decided that I had not time to lift. It took awhile to get enough clothes on. Once ready, I went out for a 6.39 mile shuffle. 

It was what I could do. Thank you, Jesus for that.