Jay Unver Interview

Interview with Zane Hodge

 By Jay Unver

(Lehrton, MS) I went to visit Zane Hodge and chat with him about Big ASS's newest sensation, Tyler Kirk. Ever since the Association of Sports Shufflers and the Association of Sports Swimmers and the Association of Sports Syclists merged to form Big ASS Endurance, Hodge has been the dominate athlete. Then when the Association of Sports Strongmen joined Big ASS, Hodge dominated there also. Now there is some real competition for the ageing champion. We sat down in Plate City and talked while the squirrels ran in the trees above of and Pee Wee played with his toys. Below is our interview. 

Unver: Tell me about the new kid on the block.

Hodge: What's to tell you? You were there at the past couple of swim meets and at the Association of Sports Strongmen contests.

Unver: Well, share with us how you feel about him breaking all of you records in the gym.

Hodge: I don't feel bad. I am happy for him. It was getting a little boring with me setting world records every time we had a meet. He broke all of my All-time world records, but since we are in different weight classes, I still hold the weight class records.

Unver: Yes, there's that. But in the pool, there are no weight classes. He has been breaking your records with frightening speed. 

Hodge: It really has been amazing. Every time we get in the water, he is better. Just a few weeks ago, I would lap him three times in a 1,500. Then it was two times, then one, then none. The last time we swam long, a week ago, he seemed to slow down to keep from lapping me in a 2,200. 

Unver: There is no animosity between you two?

Hodge: No, not like with me and Randy Beets. I am still a little miffed about his mom going to court and blocking the formation of the Association of Sports Strikers just so I could not beat up her son.

Unver: What has Beets been up to lately?

Hodge: He went into hiding after one of my latest swim records. It might have been my world record in the 400 Redneck IM. He got off social media, and I hear he went into the Witness Protection Program.

Unver: Too bad. Beets had improved vastly in the sprints, was even beating you in the 50 and 100, and had closed the gap in the distance events. How do you think he would fare against Kirk?

Hodge: He would have two chances against Tyler. Slim and none and slim left town.

Unver: So what is next for you guys?

Hodge: Quadrathon. We are scheduled for June 2 for the world's newest sport.