Hodge Charged

Hodge Charged

by Jay Unver

(Lehrton, Mississippi) At exactly 10:00 a.m. October 22nd at the conference center at Big ASS training Center, Dr. Timothy Nomann announced that formal charges had been made against star swimmer, runner, and strongman Zane Hodge. Nomann said "there is credible and powerful evidence that Hodge is guilty of collusion, interference, and sabotage of a fellow athlete during a sanctioned Big ASS event."  This charge stems from a power outage at Morganton Aquatics last Friday that prevented Randy Beets from completing the much ballyhooed virtual meet between the two top swimmers. If convicted, Hodge could face a number of sanctions including a possible expulsion from the Association.

After reading his brief prepared statement, Nomann left without taking reporters' questions. Speculation was rampant among the newsmen in attendance. "To move this quickly," I overheard one newspaperman say, "indicates that the evidence against Hodge is overwhelming."

One source, speaking under the conditions of anonymity, relayed that the attack that shut down power in Morganton, North Carolina, came from a cyber attack launched by computers at Mississippi Delta Community College. "This is fact. The IP address leaves no room for speculation. In short," this insider said, "his [Hodge's] goose is cooked."

Hodge's trial is set for October the 28th at the Big ASS Headquarters in Lerhton, Mississippi.