VM 2 Set

VM 2 Set

By Jay Unver

(Lehrton, Mississippi) Within thirty hours of the first Virtual Meet between long-time rivals Randy Beets and Zane Hodge, Dr. Timothy Nomann has secured a signed contract from the two star athletes for Virtual Meet 2. 

"There is an excitement in the Association that we haven't seen for years," Nomann said from the conference room at the Big ASS Training Center in Lehrton, Mississippi.

Virtual Meet 1, ended in a strange draw. Although Beets won three of the four races, his failure to finish the 4th race, the 500 free, opened the door for Hodge to sneak in for a tie on points.

"This time," Nomann told reporters, "the scoring is going to be different. Three races, total time, and the lowest time wins."

"Is the new scoring the result of the strange draw we had in the first meet?" Johnny Nogood of the Podunk Podcast asked.

"No," Nomann answered. "The athletes just want to mix things up, to keep them interesting. I didn't realize how hungry these guys were for competition. I think they would sign a contract to shoot marbles if you could get them together. With them living hundreds of miles apart, virtual meets is the best we can do."

"Why did the rivalry die down for the past several years anyway?" Nogood asked. "With Beets winning three of the last five races, it looks like he might have been right when he said Hodge was ducking him by not continuing with Swim the Suck."

"I can tell you for a fact that is not true," Nomann said with authority. "Hodge is a teacher and a preacher. He loves his work and feels a divine call to it, which is why he continues to do it. I have seen his W2s. He will be making less money this year than he made sixteen years ago. With inflation, he just could not pay the big entry fees and make the trips to Chattanooga anymore. And with Beets moving to North Carolina, a lot of the opportunities for them to face each other in road races, bike rides, and triathlons disappeared."

"So how long will these virtual meets last?" another reporter shouted out.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Nomann stated. "But my guess is they will last a long time. Weeks, months, who knows."

"What are the events?" I asked when I realized they had not been announced.

"Beets and Hodge will swim three races next Friday in this order," Nomann responded. "300 free, 100 free, and 600 free. Times will be totaled and low time wins."