Birthdays

We all have them. Birthdays that is. And with social media, I am amazed at how many people don't know a couple of important things. One thing most adults don't seem to know is how to wish someone a happy birthday. It's not very complicated, but so many seem to fall short. I read over and over, "I would like to wish my wife a happy birthday." I always think, after all these years, you should not be too shy to actually do it. Do it. Wish her a happy birthday. If you have the nerve to bring it up, why not close the deal and do it.

I also read people saying that they "want to wish" so and so a happy birthday. Just like "would like to" it's not that hard. You are already so close to doing it. Pull the trigger. Take that chance. Let me tell you how. Say, "Happy birthday, _______." See how easy that is? And who is going to reject you for that? If you don't like that approach, you can do it this way. Say or write, "I wish _______ a happy birthday."

Feel better now? Good, because I don't. There is one more thing we need to learn about birthdays. They are not belated. Let me say that again: birthdays are not belated. Did you hear me? Birthdays are not belated!!! They aren't. They can't be. For example, my birthday is June 2. If you wish me happy birthday on July 2, my birthday is not belated. No matter when you wish me, my birthday does not nor can it change. 

Get it?

Yeah, but what if I miss it by a day?

Simple. Just say, "Happy birthday." Anyone who will unfriend you because you miss it by a day is not a friend.

Okay. But what if I miss it by a week?

You say, "Belated wishes for a happy birthday."

See? I don't know why people are so hung up on that word "belated," but if you must use it, it refers to the wishes not the birthday. This is 5th grade English, so stop making yourself look stupid. Really, stop it or I might punch you in the Adams's apple the next time I see you.

And while I am complaining, do not ever say, write, or think "Last but not least." I will unfriend you for that.