Controversy at Match Race 2

Controversy at Match Race 2

By Jay Unver

(Lehrton, Mississippi)  After the special match race last Wednesday October, 13, 2021, where Zane Hodge dealt Mary Peyton Rodgers her second consecutive defeat, the long-legged, high-spirited athlete immediately filed a complaint against Hodge. She made a formal charges to the Big ASS office of "irregularities in the race" that, she argued, should result in her being granted an immediate rematch. Dr. Timothy Nomann, president and CEO of Big ASS, granted the rematch.

Ever since the Association of Sports Swimmers, the Association of Sports Syclists, and the Association of Sports Shufflers merged in 2010 to form Big ASS Endurance, Hodge has been at the center of almost every race and controversy. 

Hodge was perturbed but surprisingly relaxed when I visited him a few minutes before he was scheduled to walk to Greenwood's linear park. 

"You seem not so worried as you did last week," I remarked.

"I'm pretty confident I will beat her again. The only thing that bothers me is the so-called "irregularities in the race." I was never told what those were. So if I did something wrong, I don't know what it was and I might do it again out of ignorance."

That was about all he said before he walked out the door and headed downtown. I followed in my company supplied golf cart so that I could observe the race both for oversight purposes and for reporter access. 

When we arrived, right on time for the 2:00 o'clock scheduled starting time, Hodge received a text message that BK and MPR were running late. At that, Hodge turned red in the face and began to pace. "MPR is messing with me. She is sitting in air conditioning while I am out here sweating."

A few minutes later, BK drove up. When she exited her truck, Hodge asked "Where is MP?"

"She's not going to make it."

"What!?!?!?! She filed a complaint on me and the race, secured a rematch, and she's not coming!"

At that, Hodge proceeded to go into a rage and throw a fit. He turned beet red in the face, growled, threw rocks, yelled, and just about looked like he wanted to commit murder. He fell to the ground and kicked and screamed and pounded the pavement with his fists. 

A Greenwood police officer in a squad car drove by, slowed down, rolled his window down and asked if everything was OK. BK and I managed to assure him that all was well, and he drove away slowly.

The ancient of days, the strong of arm,
and (not pictured) the long-of-leg

Eventually Hodge exhausted himself and we got him into a sitting position and began to give him Pedialyte. BK gave him a Snickers. "Here," she said, "you are not yourself when you're hungry." Finally, we got him to his feet and started the race.

This time, Hodge hung with BK for 2.2 miles. Then she slowed a little to accommodate him and he held on another .15 miles. In the first race, he hung on for .9 miles. For the second race, he lasted for 1.9 miles before he fell off pace. Making it for 2.35 miles marks a real improvement in Hodge's fitness.

When it was all over, however, Hodge announced that it wasn't over. Turning to me, he snapped, "I want to file for an In Abstentia victory."

I shot him a look.

"I mean it. If you don't have a form in that gold cart, you better go back to the office right now and get one or I might get violent."

"OK. OK. Your call."

And that was all I said. I got in my cart and rode away while BK drove away and Hodge began a slow shuffle home.