Party at Casa de Hodge

Party at Casa de Hodge

by Jay Unver

(Lehrton, Mississippi) I went by to see Zane Hodge to get his reaction to Virtual Swim Meet 5. Hodge won the meet after narrowly losing Virtual Swim Meet 4. I found a note on the front door of his house that said, Come to the back. I heard music, singing, and laughter floating from the backyard to the front porch.

So I got in my car and drove around to the alley. Pickup trucks were baked up for four houses. I got out and began to walk towards the rear of 333 West Monroe. As I approached, I noticed some bleachers had been set up in the inset area where Hodge does his alley workouts. A robed African-American choir was on the bleachers swaying while they sang "Glory Hallelujah."

A huge banner was tied to Hodge's back fence that read:

                                          Hodge Whips Beets!!! 

As I was climbing over the fence, just like I do when I come here to interview him while he is working out, a stumbling Bubba pulled a shotgun from a pickup and fired three shots into the air.

"Yeehaa!!" somebody else yelled.

After I regathered myself, I made it over the fence. People were as thick as flees on a dump dog. I waded through them for a few minutes until I found Hodge. He was being slapped on the back by a fan, a friend?

"Congratulations, Champ!!!"

Hodge was smiling from ear to ear. "Thanks," he said. "Thanks a lot."

Then seeing me he yelled, "Jay Unver. Come to interview the champ?"

"Looks like you're happy," I responded.

"What's not to be happy about? I'm back on top. Yeehaaaa," he yelled.

Then there was more gunfire from the alley. I flinched.

"You'll get used to the shooting," yelled Hodge over the noise while slapping me on the arm. 

This is a cross between a party and a riot, I thought looking around. 

"How do you get away with all the gunfire?" I asked.

"The police have already been out," he yelled. "They said as long as we don't shoot nobody, everything is cool. How about that?"

"Remarkable," I answered. "You just used a double negative."

He shot me a look before asking, "Want something to drink?" while he pointed to a table. "We have Kool Aid and undecafinated tea. Help yourself."

Then I noticed the pig. A couple of men were tending a pig roasting over a pit of glowing red coals. He has pulled out all the stops, I mused.

"You sure are making a big deal of this," I muttered speaking partly to myself.

"It is a big deal," he shouted. "I whipped Beets in the pool, and I set new records in the Association of Sports Strongmen. I feel great!" he shouted while throwing his head back.

About that time I noticed a small man on the bench press pinned by the neck under a bar. "Dude," I yelled. Hodge walked over, lifted the bar, and told the guy to walk it off. He was blue in the face and unresponsive. Then Hodge shouted out for someone to "get the man some Kool Aid."

I took this as my cue to leave. I suspect they were out there all night. I'm not sure if the bench presser lived or died. I'll check the police docket Monday.