Telling Jim Bob about Tuesday's Training

"Four."

"Four?"

"Four. I didn't stutter."

"Well aren't we sweet today."

"Listen, if you're going to be a smart aleck, you can just leave now."

"You can just leave now," he mocked me in a stupid tone.

"I mean it, Jim Bob. It's too early in the morning for you to be getting on my nerves."

After that nothing was said for a minute or two. And as usual, I felt bad for snapping. But nobody makes me snap like ole' JB. 

"You want coffee?"

"If you think I deserve it," he said draining his his cup like he had done nothing wrong.

"What you deserve is a punch in the throat. But I am too well raised by my mom to do that to you."

He handed me his cup without another word. The birds were singing. At least they were happy. I went inside and filled the cups, mine and his, and went back out to Plate City to tell him about Tuesday's training.

"We rode 23.71 miles early."

"Why so far? Where did you go? Who made the ride? What did you feel like? What was your average pace? What was your max speed? Did you eat anything before hand? How was the. . . ."

"Stop it!!!" 

He's like that, and if I did not get a really good night's sleep the night before I can't take it. If I had let him go on, he would have asked how many times I passed gas? did it pee on the side of the road? did I spit often? did I get bugs in my eyes? how many cars rode by? did we see any wildlife? what was the temperature before, during, and after the ride? what do the crops look like? what was my average heart rate? what was my max heart rate? what did I drink on the ride? It makes me ashamed to say it, but Pee Wee is the only one ever happy to see Jim Bob walk up.

"About mid-morning, I went out for a 2.39 mile run," I started back after regaining my composure.

"Why so short?"

"How many miles did you run?" I said shooting him a hard look. I was quiet awhile while I waited for my anger to subside. Then I started back.

"Mid-afternoon I went to the pool."

"What did you do at the pool?"

I literally bit my tongue. Then I sat in silence and let the music of the birds soothe my soul. When I felt better, I recommenced giving Jim Bob his report.

"I swam 3,000 straight. Then 2 X 50/50 breast/free for a total of 3,200 meters."

Pee Wee perked up and ran to the fence, giving the evil eye to a squirrel. 

"After 6:00, I hit the weights for push and pull. So there you have it: a bike ride, a run, a swim, and a weight lifting session. Four workouts in one day."

"Well aren't we something?"

"Did your momma ever slap you?" I sincerely asked.

"No but she taught me not to stay where I am not wanted," he said as he got up and headed for the gate.

"If you let Pee Wee out, we are going to have a problem."

He didn't let Pee Wee out. But he slammed the gate hard as he left in a huff. The sad thing is, I knew he'd be back.