Hodge Questioned

Hodge Questioned

By Jay Unver

(Lehrton, Mississippi) Star swimmer and strongman, Zane Hodge, was called to the Big ASS Training Center and Headquarters in Lehrton, Mississippi today to answer questions from Dr. Noman, President and CEO of Big ASS Endurance.

Specifically, Nomann queried Hodge as to his role in the development and spread of the corona virus. This became a concern after Randy Beets, Hodge's chief rival, raised the possibility that Hodge is responsible for COVID-19.

In a recent Facebook Post, Beets wrote:

      The pool is now closed for a month, subject to extension if needed. Is Zane Hodge behind all of this?        Would he go so far as to cause worldwide turmoil just for a competitive edge? I'm not making                    accusations, just asking the tough questions!

Hodge, who appeared before Nomann without counsel, replied that "Even if I were that devious, certainly I am not that smart. There is no evidence that I did this and there can be no evidence that I did because I did not do this. Randy Beets is a loose cannon who needs to keep his mouth shut."

"I'll disregard the comments on Mr. Beets," Nomann responded. "But if any evidence ever surfaces that you had anything at all to do with starting this pandemic, it could mark you end as a Big ASS athlete," Nomann warned.

Nomann then announced a preliminary investigation and sent Hodge on his way.

As he left the Center, I asked Hodge for a response. He shook his fist and yelled, "If I ever see that Beets again, his butt is whipped." 

With that, he climbed into his truck and smoked a tire exiting the parking lot.