New Records

Zane Hodge has been as busy as a bee establishing new records in both the pool and at the gym. Meanwhile, Randy Beets has been as silent as a stone after the single brag he made early this week on social media, boasting of a banner training day.

"I've tried to fish the sissy out. Maybe he just doesn't want to compete anymore. Heck, he can't compete. I guess that's the problem," a disgusted Hodge muttered after setting his latest Big ASS world record.

Last Tuesday, Hodge set three pool time trial records in the 200 (3:34.28), 150 (2:38.69), and 100 (1:41.61) long course meters. Beets failed to attempt a go at these marks.

This Monday Hodge was at it again, busting out a new record swim for 250 meters (4:31.36).

In addition to these marks, Hodge's Senior Olympic times have been ratified as competition records. A competition record is one done in a meet or a match race with another swimmer. Last April 6, Hodge won gold and set marks for four short course yards distances, all of them freestyle:

     50 - 34:52
     100 - 1:15.33
     200 - 2:44.09
     500 - 7:08.89

Tuesday the 13th, Hodge had Association witnesses for some new bench press records for both a single and a double. He hit 150 for a double and 155 for a single. These are now Big ASS world records. 

"These records should fall as soon as I bench heavy again, next week," Hodge pronounced confidently. "Poor Beets. I need a competitor. Right now, all the short course time trial marks are open. All he has to do is go swim something and he can have a record until I get a chance to go break it. But I guess he is too lazy to have his brief moment of glory. Too bad."